Before I provide you with another attempt at a purposeful reflection, I’d like to start with a short story. Back in the day, I had this craving to bungee jump. I had seen people do it on TV and I had heard stories from some of my friends who had done it and all they could say was that it was an amazing experience. When I would ask, “Well, why did you do it” most couldn’t articulate the reason why. Most of my friends would just say, “I just wanted the thrill” or “I just thought it would be fun.” Not getting the responses I wanted, I’d ask more pressing questions to find out why they’d risk their life for a small pleasure, “Well, what did you get out of it and how did it feel?” It was then, all the friends I asked would go into anywhere from a one minute rant to a ten minute story of the feelings they had. How those 7-10 seconds felt throughout their body and what it meant for them to take “the plunge.”
Pondering these bungee jumping thoughts, I began to think about how this relates to Greek Life. Specifically, do you ever stop and wonder why we ask this question, “Why did you join your fraternal organization?” I mean, what answer are we trying to obtain from our members…specifically our new members? Is it the response “brotherhood/sisterhood?” If so, did the new members really know what that meant at the time they were joining? Was the response “values?” If so, did the new members really understand the true meaning of the values that your organization espoused? What about the response, “a family away from home?” That my friends is a great response but not to the “why” you joined but what I think is the “what” you wanted out of your fraternal experience. Which therein lies the point of this blog; to start changing the questions we ask our members, specifically our new members, from the “why” to the “what” and “how” questions of what the fraternal experience should be about.
Think about that for a moment. What if we started to ask our potential members and our new members the following questions:
1) What do you want out of your fraternal experience?
2) What interested you to our organization?
3) What personality traits do you bring to our organization?
4) How do you plan on elevating our organization to greater heights?
5) How do you think you will be an asset to our brotherhood/sisterhood?
6) What sets you apart from all the other prospective members interested in joining our organization?
7) In your heart, how would it feel to be part of our organization?
I have come to believe that the “why” question is the walk up to the bungee jump. It provides us with helpful information but not the fundamental thrill that the “what” and “how” questions which represent the actual bungee jump provide. If you were to ask your fraternal brothers and sisters why they joined, they may be able to tell you a story but more than likely, they’d say something short like my friends did when I asked why they decided to face death in the face. However, if you were to ask your fraternal brothers and sisters the “what” and “how” questions, I think they’d paint you a beautiful picture. They’d articulate with great clarity “how” they came to their decision and “what” the deciding factors were.
To go back to an earlier example of one of the common answers I hear in reference to why someone joined their organization, individuals will respond by saying, “I wanted a family away from home.” However, I think that is “what” the individual wanted out of their fraternal experience. I’d argue that the “why” they joined is because of the feelings they had being around those brothers and sisters. Thus, how can they know the “why” before they know the “what?”
If this isn’t making sense, think of it another way in terms of relationships. You have to know “what’’ you want before you can ask the “why.” An example may be that you want to have a relationship and therefore, you will go on various dates to find that special someone. The “what” in this example is the question, “what do you want” (a relationship) and the “why” answer is “to find that special someone.” Some may argue that you could pose the “why” question first in saying that the reason you are dating is because you want to find that significant other but yet you still must know the “what” first because that is your outcome. The outcome of finding your significant other is to get married, to have babies, to enjoy one another’s company.
This leads us back to Greek Life. We have become fixated on the “why” and should be addressing what our intentional outcomes should be (i.e. the “what”). So, for prospective members, what will they bring to our organization? What can they do to take us from good to great? For new members, what can they do now that they are a part of our organization to make it better? Once you have identified the “what” questions, you can move on to the “how” questions to better serve the ways in which the outcomes will be achieved. How will the new members make us from good to great? How can we help them achieve greatness? It is basically asking the question, “what do you want and how are we going to get there.” Once you can articulate that clearly, you can then articulate why you did it.
Here is another example. Lambda Lambda Lamba wants to throw a huge philanthropy event with the profits going to the fight against breast cancer. They want to have a formal dinner and dance and have set up a philanthropy committee to ensure all logistics and needs for the event is met. With that being said, here is the what, how, and why broken down:
The “what” – Philanthropy event
The “how” – Philanthropy committee
The “why” – To fight breast cancer
Enough with the examples, let’s get down to the finale…the end of the bungee jump. If we as fraternal undergraduate and professional men and women focus on the “what” more in our discussions, our conversations will be more authentic. Our stories will be filled with more passion and emotion. Our fraternal experience will be well articulated and provide insight to those that are not Greek. Think about it…it’s not “why” did you do Ritual…it’s “what” did you get out of Ritual. Remember, the “what” is the outcome you want to achieve. It’s not “why” did you join, it’s “what” did you get and continue to get out of your fraternal organization. For those that have been in a job interview, I’m sure you were asked more “what” and “how” questions as it relates to your fraternal experience than the “why” questions.
So for those of you crazy enough to read these blogs, I encourage you to walk the plank and make the “plunge.” I have…both figuratively and literally and if you ever want to hear what it felt like for me, you can just ask. Have a good one!
