Embrace the Suck

Hey you. Yeah you, chapter president of an organization coming off _______(insert probation, suspension, three years of sucking) etc. This blog entry is for you.

I’m here to convey a message to you. A transparent no bullshit type of message. So do me a favor and ask yourself if you are a leader. If you said you are, you are about to go on one hell of a ride. So, as the title of this blog suggests; buckle up because it’s time to embrace the suck.

What does embrace the suck mean? It means that the next few days, weeks, months, and possibly years are going to be tough as a leader. You have been chosen (or forced) to lead a chapter out of a rut, out of the dumps, and out of the suck hole. The common theme during this time will be this notion of someone, maybe even you saying, "God, this sucks." Well, I’m glad for you. Glad because over the next few months, you will truly be tested as a leader. You will have a choice to make about the direction your organization goes. You will be challenged to embrace the suck. I’m here to tell you right from bat – neither I nor your Greek Advisor or your National office can make you a better man or woman and we can’t make you into a better fraternity or sorority. It’s up to you. If you expect to be given a magic pill making everything perfect, you’re going to be disappointed. Leadership is a privilege…a hard privilege. Leadership ladies and gentlemen -- is what you do.

What should you, the leader, expect to encounter coming off probation and embracing the suck? Imagine the most difficult leadership moment in your life up until this point. Got it in your head? Now, multiple that experience by 10. Yeah, embrace the suck. You see, it doesn’t matter if you are the oldest member, have held the most positions, or feel like you are the most capable leader. What it comes down to is how will you perform when you’re stressed and under pressure. How will you act in moments of importance when no one is watching? How will you get others around you to lead? Those defining moments when you have to get your hands dirty, when you are truly embracing the suck is when you will be evaluated as a leader.

But, we are coming off probation, things should be easy right? As a leader, what many of you fail to realize is that you think the difficult part is actually being on probation. I disagree. It is when you come off probation or are trying to change three years of sucking is when the true test occurs. You are changing a culture. Change is part of the deal. Change is part of success. You’d better be ready for it because if you’re not, you will fall behind. Because every time there’s a change, there’s a degree of chaos. Be prepared for that. In addition, you will have members challenge you in ways you have never encountered. You will face resistance. Members may do it in public. They may do it behind your back. They may do it via text. Heck, they may do it on Twitter. Regardless, you are going to get a snapshot of yourself as a leader and your chapter members are going to get a snapshot of you as a leader in these moments. Embrace the suck.

How can you handle the challenge and embrace the suck? Use these tips as guidelines borrowed from the Navy SEALS:

1.       There is no “I” in “Shut Up and Do the Work” – You can facilitate all the changes you want but until your chapter members see YOUR actions change and see YOU do the work, they will be resistant. Understand that there is only one big picture here – to get your chapter functioning back to being a values-based, high level organization.

2.      There is a Fine Line between Tradition and Obsolescence – Obsolescence is the process of becoming obsolete and/or becoming out of date. Traditions can strengthen or damage a fraternity/sorority. In your case more than likely, a tradition was the cause of your probation or suspension. So, as you facilitate change, remember that there are traditions that serve no value other than to damage your brotherhood or sisterhood. However, there are traditions that can enhance your sisterhood as long as the traditions are centered on the core values and purpose of your organization.

3.      You Can’t Fool People about Being a Team Player – Do you think your fellow chapter members are stupid? If you as the chapter leader spend your time sucking up and playing at being a team member without doing the work, you’ll waste a lot of time investing in a strategy that will eventually backfire on you.

4.      Own Everything You Do - You’re the president. By accepting the position, you’ve accepted the responsibility. You have specific things to do. And if you fail at those things, a lot of other people are going to have to pay the price. Yeah, we know. You’re better than that glamour kid next to you. Yeah, we know. You have so much more to offer. Yeah, we know, we’re lucky to have a genius like you leading the chapter. Well, guess what. You may be smart, but if you don’t take ownership of the work at hand, everyone else is going to have to pay for what you didn’t do. Then, everyone is going to blame you, no matter how many facts, figures, and points of interest you can remember at one time.

So here’s where the rubber hits the road. You have a choice as a chapter leader. You can say, “I’m done,” close this blog, and never do a thing. Or you can take action. If you do the former, don’t expect anything to get better. If you do the latter, then at least you have a fighting chance. I’d hope you know that a chapter coming off a probation or suspension is usually on thin ice because if things go back to the way things were, the chances of you sticking around are slim to none.  

Now, go into your room, speak to a sister, an Executive Board member, or advisor, and lay out some new ideas. Don’t get hung up trying to plan out the conversation word for word. Make a few notes about what you want to achieve and how you plan to get there. Consider his or her possible reactions. Plan how you’ll react in return. Then do it.

Demonstrate that you’re on board. Communicate a new way to go. It won’t go as smoothly as you like at first. You are going to screw up sometimes. But don’t worry—that’s life. In the end, you’ll come away proud of yourself and change will have happened. Will you make mistakes? Of course. But don’t be afraid. You will get better as a leader than you think. You will run meetings more efficiently and effectively, communicate more effectively, garner more loyalty, produce better leaders, and go to sleep more often knowing that you made a big difference.

Scared? You should be. But that’s just your body’s way of saying it’s alive.

Now go to work and embrace the suck.

Analysis of the Call for Values Congruence

Ten years ago, a group of individuals came together frustrated with the state of the fraternities and sororities nationwide. From their perspective, the gap between what Greek organizations espoused and chapters’ behavior had become too large. The main culprit – high-risk alcohol abuse. These individuals, a widespread collection of college and University Presidents, inter/national Greek Executive Directors and Association leaders were fed up with this mixed message being portrayed by Greek organizations. So, instead of doing nothing, they decided to act. Their mission; transform the landscape of the Greek environment.

The outcomes of that meeting in Franklin Square in Washington were five recommendations centered on bridging the gap between what Greek organizations espouse and how their chapters’ behave. This blog entry seeks to examine each recommendation and the current reality of each recommendation ten years later from my perspective.

1. Strongly reaffirm the primacy of an academic culture for the campus community, and the importance that social organizations, including Greek systems, contribute to sustaining that culture by:
A. Reestablishing a five-day academic week;
B. Supporting faculty/staff interaction with students and student groups and valuing campus advising to Greek chapters and adult mentoring for chapter members;
C. Requiring an acceptable level of academic performance for Greek membership and chapter existence; and
D. Recognizing the contribution of student groups, including Greek chapters, to university and community service.

Current State of this Recommendation:
My opinion is that recommendation is relevant but outdated. I believe today’s student values their academics and our Greek students are good at balancing their fun with their school work. Thus, I’m not sure a five-day academic week is necessary but that is not to be mistaken with only having a one-day focus on academics. In addition, I believe requiring academic performance for Greek membership has become the standard on campuses nationwide. Yet, has this standard become complacent in my opinion…yes. I do believe we do a good job of recognizing academic achievement and service initiatives within our Greek communities but our engagement in actual service has taken a backseat to philanthropic endeavors. The one area that I think is in need of more attention based on this particular recommendation is the faculty/staff interaction with students. I’m not sure our profession has been able to come up with new, innovative ways to involve faculty members in their interactions with our Greek students. In my opinion, this is shown by the lack of resources and limited presentations at various national conferences on this specific issue.

2. Articulate collegiate expectations for student groups, including their responsibility for the behavior of their membership by:
A. Directing messages through venues which effectively reach incoming students, upper-level students, and chapter leaders;
B. Enforcing clear policies addressing underage drinking and social activities entailing alcohol consumption; and
C. Establishing periodic dialogues between university officials and advisers to Greek chapters.

Current State of this Recommendation:
The best way to describe the current state of this recommendation is a stalemate. I believe policy education has been engrained in our students but the issue I see is that it has become a mute point. Hearing the same message over and over has caused the students to miss the important message of policy enforcement that needs to be heard. Part of that can be attributed to the lack of periodic dialogue I feel is occurring between University officials and Greek chapters. I’m not talking about a forced, agenda-driven meeting. I’m talking about a sit down, honest, real conversation about the issues occurring within our Greek communities. Will this help address the ever-growing list of issues chapters are having, I think so. However, it will take time and a true commitment to listening to the voice of the students. The other point worth evaluating is whether or not the direct messaging to incoming students, upper-level students and chapter leaders is being effective or not.

3. Encourage the development of programs and policies addressing alcohol abuse based upon research findings and established best practices and oversee their implementation. Student alcohol abuse is a multi-faceted problem requiring multi-faceted solutions. The development, evaluation and fine-tuning of these programs and policies need to be a priority for campus student affairs leadership and extend to:
A. Adopting successful practices found on other campuses;
B. Engaging community, civic, and business leaders, as well as local alcohol distributors in addressing abuse prevention, and
C. Training programs and resource assistance for campus personnel and student leaders.

Current State of this Recommendation:
I think the current state of this recommendation depends on who you ask. I feel some would say we have made excellent progress while others would say very little progress. I’m somewhere in the middle but leaning towards very little progress. Using the sub-bullets as a measuring stick, I’m not sure there are many campuses that have found transferable best practices that other campuses can use. That is not to say campuses haven’t improved but I believe a campus culture is very difficult to mimic for another campus.

The second bullet is a very good idea in theory but in practice, much more challenging. Having sat on alcohol task force committees with community and business leaders and bar owners, their mindset is very different that one of a student affairs professional. The bottom line is that they are a business. Businesses rely on money. When students are a primary revenue source, they are hesitant to change their business model. Now, does that mean you shouldn’t try or that change can’t happen? Of course not. My experiences have just shown that this is more of an uphill battle than I would have anticipated.

The last bullet I feel is an area we have made some good progress. Programs such as TIPS training, increased risk management programs such as Ladders of Risk, more campus-based resources and increased research and statistics has helped improved training efforts for our students. There is always room for improvement and as the recommendation suggests, we need more multi-faceted solutions but at the end of the day, we are making progress.

4. Support the establishment and implementation of a site visit certification process for the Greek system on a campus, or for individual chapters, and make external reviews a condition of continuing chapter operations. The development, evaluation and fine-tuning of these programs and policies need to be a priority for campus student affairs leadership and include:
A. Hosting meetings with Greek representatives and local alumni to discuss best practices and institutional policies minimizing alcohol abuse;
B. Forming a review committee of campus programs targeting alcohol abuse and its second hand effects; and
C. Submitting best practices to higher education associations and fraternity headquarters to facilitate widespread adoption.
See Appendix A. "Sample Greek Community Standard."

Current State of this Recommendation:
When I read this recommendation, I just heard crickets in my head. Recent reports and studies, (see one here: http://healthland.time.com/2012/05/14/dsm-5-could-mean-40-of-college-students-are-alcoholics/?xid=gonewsedit) personify the notion that minimizing alcohol abuse is proving to be greater and greater with today’s college student. While sub-bullet B has good intent, it simply isn’t effective. Well, maybe not effective, but really needs new, innovative ways to educate our students on the effects of alcohol. Yet, when this document was created, the focus was primarily on alcohol. Today’s student is now dealing with prescription drug abuse, illegal drug abuse, sexual assault, alcohol abuse and insert whatever other risk management issue.

Thus, referring to an earlier point and touching on the last sub-bullet, I’m not sure we have done a good job of sharing ideas and helping one another on a national level facilitate widespread change. I do think there are organizations and individuals out there attempting to create positive change as it relates to risk management (see Pi Kappa Phi, Zeta Tau Alpha, Novak Hazing Institute as examples) but if there are others, I haven’t heard of it. I don’t say that to mean I would know if there was but I really haven’t heard of any game-changers aside from the organizations or Institute I mentioned.

5. Dedicate the necessary resources to promote healthy life-styles for all students and to encourage Greek organizations to emphasize common core values by:
A. Focusing on physical and emotional wellness, promoting a healthy lifestyle as a viable alternative to an alcohol abuse lifestyle, and
B. Emphasizing the core values implicit in an academic culture; namely, academic achievement, career preparation, civic engagement, intellectual inquiry, racial and cultural understanding, and mutual respect.

Current State of this Recommendation:
I feel we’ve made moderate progress in this area of promoting healthy life-styles for our students. Greater emphasis has been put on today’s student to become more holistic and providing alternatives to alcohol. In addition, the Call for Values Congruence document and various organizations have put greater emphasis on getting back to what our organizations are about; our core values. Add to that, a program such as UIFI, National Ritual Week and other intentional values-based discussions has our profession heading in the right direction. However, if I’m being honest, we need more. Even as professionals, we need to create more avenues for values-based conversations. I believe IFI is one example of providing that kind of environment but aside from that, where else honest, deep, values-based conversations occurring? Again, maybe I’m just missing the boat but I’m just not seeing it occur. What do you think?

As you can see by my informal analysis, I in some sense feel the Call for Values Congruence is outdated for today’s student and current issues facing our fraternal community. I believe it provides a strong framework for creating a new, updated version maybe entitled Call for Values Congruence 2 but until there is intentional dialogue about the recommendations provided within the document, I see it only as something people refer to here and there. I believe it is also worth noting that a lot has occurred in the ten years that the Call for Values Congruence document was created. Too often, I think people assume that people know and/or understand what it is or what its intention was for the fraternal movement. Critical reflection and conversations must occur on a national level to create more awareness and understanding of the document. Until then, I’m not sure how effective the document will ever be.

I’m very curious to get your thoughts so feel free to leave a comment below. Thanks for reading!

UIFI: A Nine Year Reflection

In four days I will embark on one of my favorite journeys of the summer – my trip to UIFI. As I prepare for this upcoming UIFI experience, I wanted to reflect on why I believe in UIFI and its’ impact it can have on students, as well as the facilitators.

In 2003, I myself embarked on my own journey to UIFI as an undergraduate student. I was part of the Delta Sigma class. I remember showing up to the Alpha Delta Pi house at Indiana University looking for rejuvenation. A jolt in my fraternal experience. I, like many who attend UIFI had been to a number of leadership workshops, a regional conference and my own fraternity’s leadership institute. Each provided a meaningful learning experience but yet, I was still missing something. That something…was UIFI.

Looking back, those five days significantly impacted my life. I was able to discuss leadership, values and Ritual, all topics I am passionate about. I was able to develop relationships with individuals that are still in my life today. I was able to laugh. I was able to cry. I was able to self reflect in a way that no other fraternal experience had provided me. Most of all, I was able to solidify my belief that working in Fraternity and Sorority Life was something I wanted to do. UIFI, in five days had changed my life.

Examining my participant workbook from my own experience brought back a number of positive memories. I still had personal notes from other participants. I had thought provoking questions scribbled on certain pages. I had inspiring messages written down. What particularly caught my eye was that even though the UIFI curriculum has adapted over time, there were still elements that have remained consistent over these past nine years. Specifically, the day of service to the Bloomington community and the commitment to the Learn It. Live It. Teach It. Expect It. philosophy had not changed.

It is the latter portion that has resonated with me over the years. It is easy to learn something. It is harder to live it. It takes a unique skill-set to teach it and for one to expect it, it must be engrained in who you are without thinking. Put in a different way, you have to have functional intelligence. Meaning, you must have the ability to transfer what you learn at UIFI and apply it to your everyday life. This has proven to be a constant challenge for me. A challenge I embrace.

Specifically, I now attend each UIFI with the “teach it” hat on. Yet, each time I attend as a facilitator I find myself learning more about our ever-changing fraternal community, re-assessing how I live my values, being self-critical of how I’ve taught the fraternal lessons I have learned over time and creating new levels of how to expect it from today’s student. Time and time again, this proves to be reinvigorating and frustrating all in once. Yet, I love it.

Since my own experience, I have had the privilege of facilitating UIFI 8 times which will include my upcoming experience. I have had the chance to meet some amazing facilitators. I have had the chance to impact over 600 students. I have had the chance to push the comfort level of many, both students and facilitators. I have seen students kicked out of UIFI for poor decision making. I have seen stereotypical “alpha” males cry tears of anger recognizing that their fraternal experience had been ruined by incongruent beliefs. I have heard life changing stories. I have experienced tragedy from students I met at UIFI. I have seen UIFI graduates go on to work for their National Headquarters. I have seen what fraternity and sorority can look like when done right. I have seen UIFI graduates create positive change.

UIFI is special. UIFI exposes your fraternal experience in a way that similar to you looking in a mirror in that it showcases the beauty of fraternal organizations as well as sheds light on our unpleasant reflection at times. UIFI forces you to examine yourself and ask you if you’ve been blinded by your own ambition or in some cases, others’ reckless self-indulgence. UIFI pushes you, no wait, UIFI demands you to be better than when you arrived. The question is whether or not will you embrace that challenge and become a better leader than you were yesterday.

Nine years ago I made a commitment to myself and to the Delta Sigma graduating class that I would make every effort to make my own Greek community as well as the perception of fraternities and sororities on a national level better than what they were on that day. I am still passionate about that commitment. I can only hope that I have made an impact on someone or a community to make positive change.

That’s important because in four days, I will watch the Iota Delta class graduate with bright eyes, bottled up excitement, skeptical yet confident belief in change and 90 new friends ready to support their endeavors. I will watch them load the bus and as they drive away, I will know that I may have just impacted another life in a positive way. That…is all that matters to me. 

Below are some images from UIFI over the years...