A Lose-Lose Situation: AFA Annual Meeting in Phoenix

It has been nearly a month since AFA’s leadership decided to keep this year’s Annual Meeting in Phoenix. I don’t know why, but I kept thinking about the decision that was made. As I read over their rationale on AFA’s website (www.fraternityadvisors.org), I couldn’t help but think that this was a difficult decision to make. As the title suggest, I saw the situation as a lose-lose situation.

For starters, by keeping the Annual Meeting Phoenix, the Association must now face the reality that members will boycott the conference. One member, two members, 30 members, 100 members…no one really knows how many will choose not to attend the meeting. While some may see this as not a big deal because any year presents challenges for members to attend (especially during tough economic times), I see this particular decision as a larger issue. Why? It is because of the audience that is boycotting.

Specifically, a number of the multicultural organizations and its members are publicly stating that they will not be attending. This hurts the Annual Meeting for a couple of reasons. First, while not their intention; does this decision potentially ostracize multicultural organizations? From my vantage point, I already see a limited number of NPHC and multicultural organizations and members attending the Annual Meeting. Second, what message does this send to our students? Don’t we as professionals preach to our students not to be a “bystander” and not to let money or “tradition” get in the way of what is right? If a majority of members disagree with the Arizona Immigration Law but yet allow our Association to hold the Annual Meeting in the state, isn’t there a disconnect?

On the other hand, had AFA’s leadership decided to move the Annual Meeting, there would have been ramifications for that decision as well. As stated in their rationale, AFA’s leadership stated that, “It was in the best interest of the organization to focus on its core mission and not engage in state/local legislative and political issues.” How would the Association draw the line in the future if there were issues similar to Arizona’s Immigration Law? What if there were another perceived “ism” such as sexism violated in a future Annual Meeting state? The decision to remain not engaged was a bold statement by AFA’s leadership.

Another issue to contend with was the financial burden the Association would have faced for cancelling its contract with the hotel. Projected at a six-figure penalty, who would have picked up that tab? General members? Private donors? Financial consideration had to be made but it makes you wonder if the six-figure statement scared people from trying. To put it in context, had the cost of the cancellation cost been $100,000 and the Association had approximately 1,000 members that would equate to $100 per person. Divide that $100 over the span of twelve months and that would have equated to a little over $8 a month. Maybe I’m an optimist but I would tend to think that a general member would make a commitment of $8 a month.

None the less, the decision was difficult. On one side, you are potentially ostracizing the multicultural community while on the other side; you are walking a tight line with what the Association’s purpose is and the financial responsibility the Association has to its general members.

Frankly, I have accepted the decision. I will be at the Annual Meeting and I will support the Association. Yet, there are two comments I need to make here. First, I wish the general membership had a voice in the decision. I’m not saying we needed to make the final decision because that would defeat the purpose of our elected officers. However, I think it is important for the membership to have an opportunity to vote to see just where the general members’ values lie. Don’t you think it would be interesting to see if our colleagues as a whole had a vote of 800 – 200 with the 800 votes being to move the Annual Meeting. Or what if the vote was the other way? I’m sorry but we can’t rely on the online community to be the one location to see where general members’ feelings are on a certain issue or topic.

Second, I was surprised at how naïve some members of the Association were in discussing the issue at hand. Maybe it relates to the notion of privilege and not having to worry about certain things, but as a person of color who has to be genuinely concerned with being questioned in Phoenix, I was surprised with some comments made. I think it reminded me that we are always learning and we must remember the privileges we have been provided…by choice or not by choice.

Lastly, I wanted to end this blog entry with two things. To gain further perspective, I contacted the President-Elect, Monica Miranda Smalls to get her perspective on the issue. See her responses to some Q&A’s below. Also below, I created a twitter poll, to provide an opportunity for anyone who reads this to vote on whether or not they agreed or disagreed with the decision AFA’s leadership made.

Question and Answer w/ President-Elect:
SC: Can you describe the thought process of how the AFA Executive Board came to the decision to keep the Annual Meeting in Phoenix?

MMS: The information on AFA's decision can be found at this link: http://www.fraternityadvisors.org/default.aspx?action=News&Newsid=103

SC: A great deal of professionals will want to discuss this issue in some fashion at the Annual Meeting. How will the leadership of AFA provide an open and welcoming environment for dialogue regarding this issue?

MMS: The Educational Programs Committee, along with the AFA Director of Programs, is in the midst of reviewing all program proposals and ideas submitted by the membership. I am confident there will continue to be an open and welcoming environment at the Annual Meeting for dialogue about any issue that is important to our membership.

SC: This issue has brought about more questions regarding AFA's values and purpose. Can you comment on your vision as the next President for where AFA needs to go? Do you think AFA's values and/or purpose need to be updated or revised?

MMS: AFA is currently in the midst of a strategic planning process that is allowing us to reflect on the Association mission, vision and overall direction. We have received useful feedback from the membership through personal interviews and member surveys as part of this process as well. I am excited to gather again as a Board in just a few weeks to continue work on the strategic plan and will be happy to share more on where the Association is headed once it's launched.

SC: What have you personally learned from this issue?

MMS: I'd prefer not to share my personal thoughts on this issue as they are just that, personal. What I will say is that I respect the differing of opinions on this issue and encourage everyone to not let disagreement hinder important dialogue that should continue.

SC: Are there any other comments or thoughts you would like to share?

MMS: Not at this time. Thanks for asking!

Twitter Poll: http://twtpoll.com/kxqjtu

What the Fraternal World Can Learn From John Wooden

17 minutes and 36 seconds. This isn’t the amount of time it will take you to read this blog entry, but the amount of time to get a glimpse into one of the most, if not THEE most, amazing fraternity man to live. I’ll prove it later…

John Wooden died on June 4^th at the age of 99. He was a member of Beta Theta Pi Fraternity. As a renowned college basketball coach whom is often considered the greatest coach ever, he never stopped teaching. As I heard the news of him going into the hospital for dehydration, I couldn’t help but think that he would make it out to see another day and continue to teach us all not to fear death. However, in the late hours of Friday night, I received a text stating that he had passed. Death had finally taken Mr. Wooden and heaven would be waiting.

It’s hard to put into words what John Wooden did for this country, UCLA basketball, college basketball, and most of all the people he met. Yet, here I am trying to express what we as fraternity leaders can learn from Mr. Wooden. Here is a man who influenced so many people and changed so many lives, and I try to express his some of his teachings in one blog post. Well, I can only hope I scratch the surface of a truly brilliant fraternity man. With that being said, I pick out a few quotes of his and relate it to our profession:

“Success is a peace of mind which is a direct result of self satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to do the best of which you are capable.”

I think too often as fraternity professionals as well as fraternal leaders, we measure success in the form of awards and recognition. While receiving awards and recognition is a wonderful accomplishment, I think we forget to acknowledge the small steps made toward success. Nobody explained that better than Mr. Wooden.

He eloquently explained that success should be trying your best and knowing that you put forth everything you had to make yourself or your organization better. Can you imagine if we as fraternity leaders put this into practice on a consistent basis? Imagine a world in which fraternities and sororities aren’t so concerned about winning Greek Weeks, Homecomings, etc but rather are about continuing to be better values-based organizations. Would it be easy? I don’t think so but as Mr. Wooden stated in his quote, it is the “self satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to do the best of which you are capable.” If we can openly accept that we, as fraternal organizations have fundamental flaws but yet try our best to live our Ritual, I think we could, and would obtain success by Mr. Wooden’s definition.

For the professionals that read this blog, remember that you are making a difference. I’m my own worst enemy when it comes to this advice but I am committed to reminding myself why I went into this profession. We are making a difference. Let me type that again, we are making a difference and it may not show everyday but in the end, you and I have changed a life for the better in some way.

“Reputation is what you are perceived to be, character is what you truly are.”

Many times I get asked by current students why non-Greeks are so critical of current Greek members. Many undergraduate members will be full of anger and frustration as the media portrays Greek life in a negative light or that a student who isn’t Greek jokes about being in a fraternity or sorority. I think that issue relates to this quote by Mr. Wooden.

I think if you were to ask any Greek member how they are perceived on campus by non-Greeks, I would guess that a majority would say negatively. Yet, if you were to ask why, I think you would get a look of confusion or even a look back to say, “Was that a rhetorical question?” I mean, shouldn’t I know that Greeks are misinterpreted and misjudged by non-Greeks? Shouldn’t I know that we do __ number hours of service and raise ___ amounts of money for charity? Shouldn’t I know that Greeks have better grades than non-Greeks? Yes, I should know and I do know, but non-Greeks do not because we don’t show them. We don’t invite them to these events. We don’t illustrate this notion of “character” as Mr. Wooden stated. We don’t live our values on a daily basis. We don’t talk about Ritual. Most of all, we don’t take care of one another.

Now, there are some amazing Greek members and organizations out there but too often, the character of one member who wears the letters of your organization exemplifies everything that you are not as an organization. It is these members that build a negative reputation which amplifies the perception that non-Greeks already have of fraternities and sororities. This directly correlates to the struggles we face as professionals and as fraternity leaders on an everyday basis. In order to change this, we have to get back to the basics. We have to get back to living our values. We have to read our Ritual. We have to talk to one another…genuinely. We have to care for one another. We have to do the right thing when no one is watching. Most of all, we have to be 110% committed to being men and women of character. One mistake, one trashy T-shirt, one formal gone wrong, one fight with a non-Greek is all it takes for the negative reputation and perception to stay. If we can commit to being men and women of character or better yet, being better men and women period, I think we would see a greater perception of fraternities and sororities on our college campuses.

“What you are as a person is far more important than what you are as a basketball player.”

Put in the fraternal context, this is such a powerful quote. Restated in the realm of fraternities and sororities, “What you are as a person is far more important than what you are as a fraternity/sorority member/professional.”

One day, your collegiate experience will end. It will be tough to let go and you will be convinced of living the Greek life for years to come. Yet as you get older, your lives will change. You may get married. You may start a family. Your careers will consume your life and before you know it, you will reflect on your collegiate experience as if it were years ago.

Recognizing that this time will come for you, remember to reflect on who you are as a person. Hopefully, your fraternal experience will have taken you on a self awareness journey that allows you to explore who you are as a new member, build on what you believe in as a sophomore and junior, and then continually hone and learn about the values you are now living as a senior and into your life after college. This is so important to learn as Mr. Wooden states in his quote because while you will always be a member of your fraternity and sorority, it won’t always define you as a person. When people ask you, “what do you stand for” or “what do you value” will you be able to answer? I’d like to think you will because you were part of a fraternal experience that made you a better man or woman. It challenged you in ways you have never been challenged so that you could walk away from college a better person…period. Try and remember this.

In conclusion, I started this blog with the line 17 minutes and 36 seconds and I said that in that time, you would be shown why John Wooden was such a great fraternity man. It just that short amount of time, I think you will see how much an impact one person can have on a life. How Mr. Wooden, truly lived the “Men of Principle.” How, we as fraternal leaders can be better. I hope you will watch the video.

RIP John Wooden.

Fraternity/Sorority Consultants: Tips to Not Sucking at Your Job

It’s the beginning of June and many Inter/National Headquarters have hired their National Consultants (or ELCs, CDCs, Life Savers, Crazies, insert whatever you call them) for the year. For many of these organizations, they have hired the best of the best. These consultants are the cream of the crop for their respective organization. They are young, vibrant, and ready to make a difference!

This is great and nobody appreciates what consultants do more than I do because I was one myself. I traveled for two years in my little pick-up truck all over the country. I opened chapters and I closed chapters. I saw groups thrive while others crumbled. I met amazing alumni but I also met some terrible alumni. I was inspired by some Greek Advisors while turned off by others. I learned about myself and learned more about my organization than I could have asked for in two years. Overall, it was the best experience I could have asked for as a recent graduate.

With that being said, I feel it’s only necessary to pass along a few pointers as you begin your travels in a few months specific to meeting with Greek Advisors. I am now a Greek Advisor and have met some amazing consultants and some really terrible consultants. So I figured, why not try to help you before you get on the road and meet with us. Take it or leave it...

Tip #1: Be Professional

What does being professional mean? It means setting up a meeting with the Greek Advisor before you get on campus. It means being on time to your meeting with the Greek Advisor. It means having an agenda. It means remembering we are professionals, not your drinking buddy. It means making eye contact. It means sitting up straight. It means shaking hands (some of you may need training on the proper way to do this). It means being engaged in the conversation. It means saying “thank you.” It means doing what you said you will do. It means following up (see Tip #5).

Tip #2: Dress Appropriately

1. For the Men…

a) Wear a suit or at the very least a shirt and tie - Trust me, this can become a pain but at the end of the day, I tried to tell myself that I am representing my Inter/National organization and this is my one chance to make an impression. Also, your meeting should last no longer than an hour, I think you can manage.

b) Don’t look like you got out of bed – Do your hair, brush your teeth, and shave unless you got that cool five o’clock shadow going on.

c) Make sure your clothes fit/match – Tuck in your shirt. Wear black socks with black pants. Get your suit tailored. Know how to tie a tie (Men’s Warehouse will show you how).

2. For the Ladies…

a) Keep your clothes on – I don’t need to see more cleavage from you than I would at the beach. Also, your skirt shouldn’t show your butt or anything else when you sit down. Do you want to be known as the trashy consultant?

b) Easy on the makeup/perfume – Greek Advisors don’t want to have a headache from your scent. Most of us have small offices.

c) Keep it classy – Most of you do a good job with what you wear (i.e. suit) but let’s not get overboard with the colors and accessories.

Tip #3: Be Able to Hold a Conversation

I am going to generalize but most of us Greek Advisors want to get to know you. It’s refreshing to see a new face and hear your traveling stories. So, when we ask about your life, your travels, where you are from, etc, don’t make it awkward. We will get to talking about your chapter.

Furthermore, don’t read from a script. We know you want grade reports, recruitment statistics, etc. Don’t……..talk…….like……this….or….say….umm,…well….umm….yeah. Try to think of engaging questions to ask. Ask about the campus culture. Ask about recent issues that have occurred on campus. Ask about OUR lives. Ask about how your respective organization is perceived on campus. Ask, “Can I take you to get a smoothie, coffee?” Ask, “how can my organization be better on this campus?”

Simply put…be yourself, be an adult and be human. We appreciate what you do…I promise!

Tip #4: Come With a Purpose

Nothing frustrates Greek Advisors more than consultants who don’t have any purpose. One of our questions to you will be, “What is the purpose of your visit?” Is it to check-in with the chapter? Is it because of disciplinary issues? Is it to help with recruitment? Is it because you were in the area?

Regardless, make use of our time. I had one consultant come into my office from an organization that I will not name (but is located in Indianapolis) who looked to have the day off. He was with a few of my students and introduced himself. He said he was working with a nearby chapter but he didn’t really like them so he decided he would bypass his meetings until later at night (insert red flag here).

After talking with him a bit, he confessed that he didn’t really like the job nor did he like his Executive Director. I asked, “Well, why do you keep doing it? Why not quit.” I can’t remember exactly what he said but it was something along the lines of, “I don’t know what else to do and I can tolerate it.” All I could say was “wow” and not in a good way. Needless to say, this consultant did not come with nor have a purpose. I did not like this consultant. Don’t be this consultant.

Remember that you were hired for a reason. You have a purpose and you have talents (I hope) so make sure you are utilizing the gifts you were given and make some change in the 1, 3, 5, 30 day visit you may have.

Tip #5: Follow-up (Panhellenic organizations….PLEASE READ)

You have just finished your visit. Meeting with undergrads…check. Meeting with alums…check. Meeting with Greek Advisor…check. Went to some cool local places…double check. Had a great time…check. Follow up with Inter/National HQ…somewhat check. Follow-up with Greek Advisor in a week…NOT CHECKED.

I’m going to pick on the women’s organizations for a bit. Plain and simple, Panhellenic organizations are Terrible with follow-up (yes, a capital T). I’ll admit I haven’t worked with all 26 NPC organizations but I think I’ve worked with over 80% of the member groups. Those that I have worked with, I think I received a follow-up report from two organizations. TWO! (I like to give praise so nice work Tri-Delta and Gamma Phi Beta). Men, don’t think you are all-stars. There are a good number of you who fail to follow-up but you do a better job than the women.

Why do we want you to follow-up? It’s twofold. First, it allows us to see (by email or by actual written report) what you actually did on your visit. Secondly, it helps stimulate conversation and hold the chapter members accountable when you leave. The information you provide is invaluable to us because you are able to get a more in-depth look into the chapter that we may not be able to. Another reason is that it helps build the communication between your Inter/National organization and the Greek Advisor.

So, future consultants can you please follow-up with the Greek Advisor??? I mean, how hard is it? Most Inter/National organizations make you write a report anyways on your visit so just “CC” the Greek Advisor. Seems like a simple solution to me.

In conclusion, I hope you have an amazing experience traveling for your respective organization. I truly think it will change your life in some fashion and you will always remember your traveling days. In some ways, it’s a special “secret society” that only a select few are able to do so cherish your time. Finally, remember that we as Greek Advisors are here to help you. Read over the tips I provided and do what you were hired to do. Make a difference. Make positive change and make each chapter you work with better in some way.

Tips that Didn’t Make the Top 5:

1. Don’t sleep with the undergrads – We will find out. Trust me.

2. Don’t get drunk or party with the undergrads – What message does that send?

3. Don’t talk bad about any local chapter because you didn’t like them at your undergrad (i.e Are the Skulls douchebags here like they were at my undergrad?)

4. Use appropriate language (i.e. Don’t say “frat”, “house”, etc)

Don’t assume that because you are on campus and you didn’t schedule a meeting that we are going to stop our lives to meet with you at your beck and call. Nice Greek Advisors may meet with you but most won’t…and shouldn’t.