We talk a lot about risk management in our profession as fraternity and sorority life (F/S) professionals and rightly so. Issues such as binge drinking and hazing simply aren’t going away and maybe never will. While we need to continue the fight against such acts as hazing and binge drinking, I’d like to shift our focus on two growing risk management issues. Two risk management issues that are not being talked about or simply not enough in my opinion. In this two part blog entry, I focus our attention on domestic violence and prescription drugs. I will start with domestic violence in this blog entry.
I’d like to start out with a few domestic violence statistics I found on some domestic violence sites…
- Every 9 seconds in the US a woman is assaulted or beaten. (1)
- Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women—more than car accidents, muggings, and rapes combined. (1)
- One in four women (25%) has experienced domestic violence in her lifetime. (2)
- Nearly three out of four (74%) of Americans personally know someone who is or has been a victim of domestic violence. (2)
- Women ages 20-24 are at the greatest risk of nonfatal intimate partner violence. (2)
Up to this moment in the blog entry, (which took me approximately 45 seconds to read by doing a stopwatch test), 5 women have been assaulted or beaten based on the first bullet’s statistic. FIVE women!
Folks, we live in a world that can at times turn a blind eye to the notion of domestic violence. As F/S professionals, we work in an environment where promiscuous activity and “hooking up” have become acceptable behaviors in our Greek communities. Behaviors that we know could lead to domestic violence. The dangers are apparent and the issues need to be addressed. Thus my friends, it’s time to have the “talk.”
I’m not talking about the birds and the bees talk that our parents gave us. I’m talking about a genuine heart to heart with our students who are engaging in these behaviors. So why should we have this talk? Here are a few reasons…
First, it is our job to look out for our students. It is also our job to teach them to look out for one another. As the name suggests, risk management is managing and reducing risks in all that we do. This is true when it comes to relationships and domestic violence. Consider that the primary age range we work with is 18-23 and then take note of the last bullet of statistics up above. Consider that, “date rape accounts for almost 70% of sexual assaults reported by adolescent and college age women” (2). Finally, reflect on the statistic that “over three in four women (76%) who reported they had been raped and/or physically assaulted since age 18 said that an intimate partner (current or former husband, cohabiting partner, or date) committed the assault” (2). There is a reason I entitled this blog, the last two letters of the word SEX. We know of students who are having relationship issues. We know of students who are in relationships that could be abusive. So, why aren’t we having the tough conversations to help them see that being treated like shit isn’t okay?
Second, we need to have this talk because I don’t think students recognize the risky behavior they are engaging in. Students today are bombarded with shows on TV such as Jersey Shore, Sex and the City, Real World and other shows that condone promiscuous behavior. In most circumstances, those shows embrace sexual behavior as if it is the norm. The scary reality is that these shows make students who choose not to engage in sexual behavior feel like an outcast. What transpires is that these students get into an unhealthy relationship to feel “accepted” and in return, suffer the pain of domestic violence. What is worse is that according to the site, Domestic Violence Statistics.Org, “nearly 1 in 5 teenage girls who have been in a relationship said a boyfriend threatened violence or self-harm if presented with a breakup (1). Imagine that even when trying to get out of an unhealthy relationship, your safety is at risk.
Finally, we need to have this talk because we care about our students. There is a difference between doing our job as I noted in the first point and genuinely caring about our students. In fact, I’d argue that a majority of us are in this profession because some F/S professional or student affairs professional showed that they believed in us and cared for us. So, why not pay it forward, reach out your hand, open your heart, and help those students we know who are in need.
Domestic violence is a scary reality that women (and men) in our Greek communities are facing. What’s even sadder is that after reading various domestic violence sites, most cases of domestic violence are never reported to police. I wonder, is that because of fear? Is it because students pressure to be accepted by their peers or is it because they feel no one will listen? Regardless of the reason, this is a problem. A serious problem that is on the rise at college campuses and within our Greek communities. A problem that should not be ignored.
It should be noted that not everyone is able to have the “talk” or discuss such a serious issue as domestic violence. I want to remind everyone that this is perfectly okay as most college institutions have a counseling center or victim’s advocacy office with trained professionals that you can refer a student to. In addition, there is a National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233. So, if your student or you as a professional need someone to talk to, there are people there waiting to help. Don’t stand for domestic violence and never be afraid to ask for help.
Sources & Resources:
1) Domestic Violence Statistics:
http://domesticviolencestatistics.org/domestic-violence-statistics/
2) Domestic Violence Resource Center:
http://www.dvrc-or.org/domestic/violence/resources/C61/
3) National Coalition Against Domestic Violence: http://www.ncadv.org/files/DomesticViolenceFactSheet(National).pdf
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