Embrace the Suck

Hey you. Yeah you, chapter president of an organization coming off _______(insert probation, suspension, three years of sucking) etc. This blog entry is for you.

I’m here to convey a message to you. A transparent no bullshit type of message. So do me a favor and ask yourself if you are a leader. If you said you are, you are about to go on one hell of a ride. So, as the title of this blog suggests; buckle up because it’s time to embrace the suck.

What does embrace the suck mean? It means that the next few days, weeks, months, and possibly years are going to be tough as a leader. You have been chosen (or forced) to lead a chapter out of a rut, out of the dumps, and out of the suck hole. The common theme during this time will be this notion of someone, maybe even you saying, "God, this sucks." Well, I’m glad for you. Glad because over the next few months, you will truly be tested as a leader. You will have a choice to make about the direction your organization goes. You will be challenged to embrace the suck. I’m here to tell you right from bat – neither I nor your Greek Advisor or your National office can make you a better man or woman and we can’t make you into a better fraternity or sorority. It’s up to you. If you expect to be given a magic pill making everything perfect, you’re going to be disappointed. Leadership is a privilege…a hard privilege. Leadership ladies and gentlemen -- is what you do.

What should you, the leader, expect to encounter coming off probation and embracing the suck? Imagine the most difficult leadership moment in your life up until this point. Got it in your head? Now, multiple that experience by 10. Yeah, embrace the suck. You see, it doesn’t matter if you are the oldest member, have held the most positions, or feel like you are the most capable leader. What it comes down to is how will you perform when you’re stressed and under pressure. How will you act in moments of importance when no one is watching? How will you get others around you to lead? Those defining moments when you have to get your hands dirty, when you are truly embracing the suck is when you will be evaluated as a leader.

But, we are coming off probation, things should be easy right? As a leader, what many of you fail to realize is that you think the difficult part is actually being on probation. I disagree. It is when you come off probation or are trying to change three years of sucking is when the true test occurs. You are changing a culture. Change is part of the deal. Change is part of success. You’d better be ready for it because if you’re not, you will fall behind. Because every time there’s a change, there’s a degree of chaos. Be prepared for that. In addition, you will have members challenge you in ways you have never encountered. You will face resistance. Members may do it in public. They may do it behind your back. They may do it via text. Heck, they may do it on Twitter. Regardless, you are going to get a snapshot of yourself as a leader and your chapter members are going to get a snapshot of you as a leader in these moments. Embrace the suck.

How can you handle the challenge and embrace the suck? Use these tips as guidelines borrowed from the Navy SEALS:

1.       There is no “I” in “Shut Up and Do the Work” – You can facilitate all the changes you want but until your chapter members see YOUR actions change and see YOU do the work, they will be resistant. Understand that there is only one big picture here – to get your chapter functioning back to being a values-based, high level organization.

2.      There is a Fine Line between Tradition and Obsolescence – Obsolescence is the process of becoming obsolete and/or becoming out of date. Traditions can strengthen or damage a fraternity/sorority. In your case more than likely, a tradition was the cause of your probation or suspension. So, as you facilitate change, remember that there are traditions that serve no value other than to damage your brotherhood or sisterhood. However, there are traditions that can enhance your sisterhood as long as the traditions are centered on the core values and purpose of your organization.

3.      You Can’t Fool People about Being a Team Player – Do you think your fellow chapter members are stupid? If you as the chapter leader spend your time sucking up and playing at being a team member without doing the work, you’ll waste a lot of time investing in a strategy that will eventually backfire on you.

4.      Own Everything You Do - You’re the president. By accepting the position, you’ve accepted the responsibility. You have specific things to do. And if you fail at those things, a lot of other people are going to have to pay the price. Yeah, we know. You’re better than that glamour kid next to you. Yeah, we know. You have so much more to offer. Yeah, we know, we’re lucky to have a genius like you leading the chapter. Well, guess what. You may be smart, but if you don’t take ownership of the work at hand, everyone else is going to have to pay for what you didn’t do. Then, everyone is going to blame you, no matter how many facts, figures, and points of interest you can remember at one time.

So here’s where the rubber hits the road. You have a choice as a chapter leader. You can say, “I’m done,” close this blog, and never do a thing. Or you can take action. If you do the former, don’t expect anything to get better. If you do the latter, then at least you have a fighting chance. I’d hope you know that a chapter coming off a probation or suspension is usually on thin ice because if things go back to the way things were, the chances of you sticking around are slim to none.  

Now, go into your room, speak to a sister, an Executive Board member, or advisor, and lay out some new ideas. Don’t get hung up trying to plan out the conversation word for word. Make a few notes about what you want to achieve and how you plan to get there. Consider his or her possible reactions. Plan how you’ll react in return. Then do it.

Demonstrate that you’re on board. Communicate a new way to go. It won’t go as smoothly as you like at first. You are going to screw up sometimes. But don’t worry—that’s life. In the end, you’ll come away proud of yourself and change will have happened. Will you make mistakes? Of course. But don’t be afraid. You will get better as a leader than you think. You will run meetings more efficiently and effectively, communicate more effectively, garner more loyalty, produce better leaders, and go to sleep more often knowing that you made a big difference.

Scared? You should be. But that’s just your body’s way of saying it’s alive.

Now go to work and embrace the suck.