My Adoption Story Part 7: What Now?

The streets of Cartagena after 2am

These past 5 months have been a whirlwind experience. I’ve received adoption papers I’d never seen before. I learned the name of my biological mother and why I was adopted. I finally got a glimpse into who my biological father was. I obtained my U.S. passport. I traveled back to Colombia. And I visited FANA, the adoption agency that took me in when my biological mother couldn’t care for me anymore. So, what now?

Well, to start, I’m still on the search for my biological mother. While in Colombia, I met a girl who ended up being able to give me a clue on where she might be. Similar to people in the U.S., Colombians have their equivalent of a social security number and I had my biological mother’s information. After giving this girl my biological mother’s number, she was able to look up her voter registration and it came up that she had registered to vote in Newark/Dover...in the U.S. Excited that there was a possibility she might be in the U.S., I had another friend see if he could dig into this and come up with anything, but he could not. So, the search for my biological mother continues.

Next, I’m more intrigued by the thought of taking an Ancestry DNA test. I’ve had a buddy recently share his personal story of what transpired when he took one and it was fascinating. I’ve also heard other interesting stories that made me want to try it. Most of all, I want to do it to see if I may have any biological siblings. None of my adoption papers make any mention of my biological mom having any other kids but maybe, just maybe, I might have a biological sibling. Can you imagine meeting a sibling for the first time when a quarter of your life is over?!?! I can’t.

From a family perspective, I want to learn more about my older sister and brother’s adoption. As I mentioned in a previous blog entry, growing up, we didn’t really talk about because we didn’t have (or know) much information. Or maybe they did but didn’t talk about it with me. Everyone’s adoption story is unique and different – including my siblings. I’d also want to pick my little sister’s brain to understand if and how our family dynamic ever impacted her in any way. She was the only biological child my parents had. We joke that she was the “oops” baby because she truly was one. So, for her, she grew up with 3 older siblings that looked nothing like her and all were adopted. Did that impact her? Did that bother her? Or did she just see us as her older siblings? Maybe I can get her to do a guest post!

Additionally, I have 4 cousins who were also adopted from FANA. Similar to my siblings, I’ve never really had a chance to sit down and hear their stories. I have no idea what information they know about their respective adoptions, if they have any interest in going back to Colombia, or if they’d rather not discuss the topic. Time will tell what comes of those conversations, but I look forward to at least starting the discussion.

Lastly, through all of this learning and reflection, it has re-affirmed my desire to one day adopt a child - from FANA. Hopefully my future wife agrees! It would mean so much to me, to bring this love and beauty of adoption full circle and know that I was able to make a difference in a child’s life.

I would be remiss if I didn’t say “thank you” to those of you who’ve followed along and read my adoption story blog entries. I don’t claim to be the best storyteller or writer, I just wanted to share my story. If I made you laugh, made you cry, or most of all, made you think, I’ll consider that a success.

If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to ask. I may even add a “part 8” blog if I get enough questions that elicit a unique or reflective response. Also, if my story inspired you in any way to reflect on your own story of adoption or upbringing, I’d love to hear it and encourage you to write a blog as well. There is something about reflecting on an experience and writing it down that’s rewarding. While it may not bring closure to the matter per say, it just might take some weight or burden off your shoulders.

Finally, I promise that if any new information comes in my adoption story, I will update you! Thanks again for reading and if you are looking to have a child, consider adoption.