Dear Fraternal Member

Dear Fraternal Member,

Remember me, that friend you had in high school. You know, the friend that didn’t go Greek during our freshman year. Now that I am a junior, I thought I’d write you a letter to remind you of a couple of things before you begin recruitment. I hope you will read it.

First, remember that recruitment is slightly terrifying for those going through it. A potential new member is dealing with a new school, a new environment and a large number of upperclassmen who are intimidating. Do you remember that feeling of anxiety as you went house to house? Do you remember thinking, do I impress them? Most of all, do you remember feeling judged? Try to make your recruitment process a welcoming environment. It will make a world of difference.

Second, remember to have a little perspective. While I know you have now labeled me as a god damn independent (GDI), don’t forget that you too were once not a Greek member. While I’m happy that you have made your decision to join a brotherhood/sisterhood, don’t dismiss those that decided going Greek wasn’t for them. To my understanding, I could still join a Greek organization even as a junior or senior. So, please try not to set yourself up on a pedestal simply because you are a member of a Greek organization. You never know who you may meet that might want to go Greek but your snooty attitude could change their mind.

Next, flip your vantage point. Too often I hear Greeks saying that us non-Greeks don’t understand or don’t appreciate all that you do. While I’m sure some non-Greeks feel that way, don’t label us all in that manner. I see the good things you do but when you get extremely defensive or have an aggressive tone when someone questions the Greek experience, that doesn’t help your case. Here is a suggestion. Go around campus for one day and ask any non-Greek why they didn’t join a Greek organization. Simply listen, don’t respond. Talk to at least 50 people. I think you’d learn a lot about how Greeks are perceived and instead of getting angry, try to combat any negative comment in a positive way. Who knows, you may even be surprised by the number of compliments you may receive for actually talking to non-Greek members and getting their perspective instead of making assumptions.

Finally, I found a quote that I’d like to share with you…

"Be careful of your thoughts, for your thoughts inspire your words. Be careful of your words, for your words precede your actions. Be careful of your actions, for your actions become your habits. Be careful of your habits, for your habits build your character. Be careful of your character, for your character decides your destiny."

I know Greek organizations are values-based organizations that are asked to live their secret Ritual on a daily basis. Yet, at times I don’t see your actions being consistent with your values. To me, this is a disconnect that creates bad habits.

So, as you talk to a potential member during recruitment, be honest, be sincere, and be truthful. Don’t lead them to believe the Greek experience is something that it is not. Don’t give them a broken promise. Most of all, remember that joining a Greek organization should be a positive life changing experience. Why do I feel that way? I feel that way because my sister is Greek and it has changed her life. It has made her happier than she has ever been before. This is how I know being Greek can change a life. Remember that…you can impact those of us who are not Greek without you knowing. Actions speak louder than words.

Thanks for reading.